"you're so whipped,"
"no I'm not I just love her,"
the cutest thing he's ever said.

Castles in the sky.

rest in peace.

I love this quote, I don't know who it's by, but it's funny to think about the answers.

"If I died tonight, how many people would care? How many people would know? How many people would moan and wish they had me back? How many people would regret being arseholes? How many people would wish they loved me? How many people would wish they loved me less?"

I often find myself asking these questions. I imagine what people might do when they found out. I do want to know sometimes, obviously I never will. If there is a heaven though, I'd like to be able to look down and see how people are reacting. Then I could see who geniunely cared and who doesn't give a toss. I think reading the Lovely Bones has spurred on this thought process. Charming isn't it?

I miss everything, and now my mum really has 'twisted the knife' as Tilly would say, and told me I'm not allowed to go to Reading. This is a true 'fuck my life' moment.
Haven't posted in a while, but I decided this was something that needed to be told. Life's a bitch.

I've always wondered what it'd feel like if I lost that. I'll tell you, like your heart has been stamped on a couple of times. It's all self-inflicted because I'm a shit best friend. It's down to nobody else. It's all my own stupid fault. Now I've fucked everything up. I would try and sort it out but I think it's too late and of course I'm worrying. I don't have another friend that is in your position. I know you're sick of being there for me, for me only to let you down. I don't think you see that you're the most important person to me in my life.
I don't know what to say, I'm lost for words.

I get worried recently that because I don't come out I'm going to drift from everyone. It's only just hit me properly and when I'm all alone and not preoccupied those sort of thoughts take over and it makes me anxious. I'm missing a lot at the moment and don't make enough effort to hold up the close friendships I have with people so I constantly feel like I'm drifting. I see the personal jokes and funny conversations everyone is having but I'm not as much involved as I used to be. I'll stop moping about it now and do something.
I'm going to start making a much bigger effort with all of my friends and not let friendships lag, because that is when a friendship ends. I hope everyone looks forward to me talking to them more ;)

i hate people.

Tilly and me have a favourite phrase.
"I hate people"
looking around lately, it's so true. I hate people.
Contradicting this however, there is an awfully big amount of people that I love to pieces.