I've always wondered what it'd feel like if I lost that. I'll tell you, like your heart has been stamped on a couple of times. It's all self-inflicted because I'm a shit best friend. It's down to nobody else. It's all my own stupid fault. Now I've fucked everything up. I would try and sort it out but I think it's too late and of course I'm worrying. I don't have another friend that is in your position. I know you're sick of being there for me, for me only to let you down. I don't think you see that you're the most important person to me in my life.
I don't know what to say, I'm lost for words.

I get worried recently that because I don't come out I'm going to drift from everyone. It's only just hit me properly and when I'm all alone and not preoccupied those sort of thoughts take over and it makes me anxious. I'm missing a lot at the moment and don't make enough effort to hold up the close friendships I have with people so I constantly feel like I'm drifting. I see the personal jokes and funny conversations everyone is having but I'm not as much involved as I used to be. I'll stop moping about it now and do something.
I'm going to start making a much bigger effort with all of my friends and not let friendships lag, because that is when a friendship ends. I hope everyone looks forward to me talking to them more ;)